Looking Doubtful

I’m starting to think any sightings of a helmet in my memories at all (except for a pickelhaube) would be very doubtful, just asking around to those in the know.

I’m really wondering if these memories are genuine at all, or if they’re real memories with lots of embellishments added on.

It’s possible that this is an understandable result of trying too hard to remember the war.  I think my genuine memories, if any of them really are genuine, are probably few and far between and that a good portion of my story has been my mind playing tricks on me.

But which parts, exactly?  Memory is such a strange thing.  Details that should be important get lost, and details that should be inconsequential end up being remembered.  For example, in this life I can’t remember the names of any of my third grade classmates, but I can remember the license plate number on my father’s car at the time.

I still have enough memories that either correspond to real places, people, and events, or correspond to things I’ve done and places I’ve been in this life, that I don’t feel inclined to think I’m just fooling myself, but I’d be lying if I said I thought I’d ever prove a damned thing at this rate.  The matches I’ve confirmed are at best circumstantial.

One thing’s for sure: even if these aren’t real memories, they certainly do feel real.  I have felt real anguish, real terror, and real nostalgia from these memories.  If they are not real, that should cast some serious doubts on my sanity.

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