Another Thing

I think there may be some connection between this whole past life experience and my gender dysphoria; just what, I don’t know.

Here are the facts:

First, I find that my past life memories are almost invariably of the lives of men who were fairly unhappy. 

Second, I find that I usually have waves of dysphoria at roughly the same times of year, namely late May, early July, and September.  I think the first wave was in late may or possibly July 2010 and it was mild, but came back with a vengeance in september that same year.  These months correspond well to the Second Battle of Ypres, the death of John Harris, and the approximate date of his enlistment.  This pattern developed before I had any memory of a past life or had any knowledge of the life and death of John Harris.

I could exhaustively try to interpret these facts here, but I’m too tired.  I just wanted to get them down for personal reference.  

For my part, to me it feels like the seismic shifts in mood and self-image that come with gender dysphoria may very well have turned up these memories without any sort of neurosis involved.  I see it as being like a plow on the fields outside of Ypres, gouging through the soil and pulling up guns, bayonets, bits of uniforms, and now and then the skeleton of yet another unknown soldier.

This is really getting deep at the heart of everything I am. 

 

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