Turning the Corner

In regards to my most recent past life, what I will say is that I believe that I know who I was, and that I was a good person but very troubled.  I lived a life that was fairly difficult and rather short.  I was very unhappy.  I believe that my experiences in WWI cast a dark shadow over that entire life that I never completely got out from under.  I suffered for my health and died before I could really sort myself.

I am better off now because of what I went through.  I thought this life was the tough part but no; I lived the tough part so far as I can tell.

This means I have come to terms with my past lives on a very strong level.  As my memories of my life as John have become more sparse, I believe I may have finally addressed a very old psychic wound by daring to remember the trenches.  I was too scared to remember in my past life, and I suffered for it.  But can you blame me?  Where could you talk about this in the 20th century?  We didn’t have the Internet yet.  They were working on that but it wasn’t something you could just plug your laptop into.

I’m sitting now with space age technology, in an age when the deceased can, in the course of a few months, perform enough research and social networking to gather enough information about past lives to identify several of them and verify memories that were not common knowledge.  I’m finally somewhere I can call home, at least for now.  I’m apprehensive about the future, but I’m making the most of the present.  I’m already living as I’ve never lived in all my lives that I remember so far, experiencing many things both familiar from previous lives and new and exciting in this one.  The joy and excitement of life seems to have returned to me and I’ve become much calmer in the last couple of months as I finally reconcile some very old loose ends.

I may have found myself; and just as wonderful, I may have finally learned how to love at last after at least two and a half lives where I was very restless and more than a bit clueless romantically.

My life now is good; my past lives have made me realize just how good it is.

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