And With My Earlier Doubts…

Now that my past life identity as William Longespee seems doubtful, it really makes my affection for Richard I as a person seem weird, misguided, and slightly creepy.

I don’t know what to say except I really felt that I had known him, and that although he was actually a very reckless king with a violent streak and a nasty temper who took too many unnecessary risks and died before he could really fix things, the person I felt I remembered could also be immensely charismatic, generous, affectionate with his favorites, and a lover of music, art, and poetry.  It was not so much specific memories as the impression that I had a recollection of the general type of person he was.

He was also strikingly handsome.  In the one memory where I may have actually recalled his appearance, he had intense eyes, a fiery red beard that framed a handsome face with sharp features, a tall, lean but muscular body under a flowing blue robe, and his every movement was deliberate and unflinching.

 

Letting go of the prospect of having known such a person is difficult and I’ll forever be left wondering if I really did know Richard, or what became of him in his later lives.  

I shouldn’t be this emotional about it.  It would have been better for me if the thought that I’d known him had never crossed my mind.

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4 thoughts on “And With My Earlier Doubts…

  1. “It would have been better for me if the thought that I’d known him had never crossed my mind.”

    I disagree. You may have reached a false end conclusion (although are you 100% sure you weren’t?) but these are difficult things to pinpoint. Keep with the research and reflection. Self doubt is the enemy here, trust yourself!

    • I suppose so. To be fair, there’s still that memory from the Shropshire Hills that is very clearly 12th-13th century (though it doesn’t involve Richard). At any rate, since I made this post I’ve had to accept that I will never shake the feeling that high medieval England was a place I knew well and firsthand.

      • If you can’t shake the feeling then there is probably past life karma there!

      • Could be. Regardless, I plan to visit Richard’s tomb next year. I see him in a completely different light now, not as a king of legend but as a man who was unforgettable to those who knew him, and I hope one day I’ll find what became of him in his later lives. Though I have a strange feeling if I knew him, he’s close at hand.

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