It started with a memory of being crucified.
Before I go any further let me reassure you that this life was not in Judea; it was in what is now Germany from what I gather.
I wasn’t sure about it, but as I was trying to figure out my name, the name “Narthos” came to mind. This may not have been my name as it is a female name and I sensed I was male in this life (unless some of the Germanic tribes had female warriors)
It seems Narthos (or Nerthus) is the name of a Germanic goddess mentioned in part of Tacitus’ account of the Roman campaigns against the Germans. It may have been a goddess I worshipped or the name of a woman I knew.
I don’t know if I knew this from my readings in Tacitus or not. I don’t recall the particular passage I see it cited in. I’ll have to see if it was part of what I read since I only read what I was assigned to (Tacitus can be a bit of a bore at times) and I can definitely say if it’s in a part of the book I’ve read or not once I go over the text.
Also, I need to check the book- both the parts I’ve read and the parts I haven’t- for references to crucifixions being carried out during those campaigns.
Anyhow, I’m not in the mood to dive neck-deep in Tacitus right now. I’m still feeling kind of weird from that memory.
It isn’t weird in a bad way though. The distinct impression I got was that I had died without fear, in quiet resignation and perhaps even a bit elated to die for my tribe. It seems I had worked myself into something of a trance, and I was able to block my body awareness to the point where I wasn’t suffering any more. It almost left me feeling uplifted because I was entirely at peace with what was happening at that moment, with the sun setting, but when I remind myself of what this is I feel uneasy with calling it an “uplifting” memory.
It really got me thinking about how many others must have found a moment in the slow process of crucifixion to set their mind to accept death and shrug off the pain as an act of will, or how many others in that era had believed in a god or in the good of their tribe so much that they would do the same. The Romans executed perhaps thousands of people in all parts of the Empire by crucifixion, after all, and they can’t have all gone to their deaths kicking and screaming. I know, this is getting uncomfortably close to blasphemy for some, but if reincarnation is fact then it is nothing special to die with your affairs in order on the cross, or to return from it.
And really, I always found that aspect of Christianity puzzling. Why worship the moment of his sacrifice when a better religion could be built around his life and ideas? Why ornament your body with the instrument of Jesus’ torture when you could ornament your mind with the attainment of Gnosis? What Jesus showed, ultimately, was one of many ways to attainment and the story of the crucifixion is only punctuation.
Maybe I’m wrong about my memories of being a Germanic tribesman fighting the armies of mighty Rome and being crucified for it. This is very likely a product of cryptomnesia unless it’s in a part of the book I haven’t read yet. But I think it was worth reflecting on how common this sort of thing was back then and how reincarnation might change that story drastically if we could all remember the day we were crucified. No wonder the Council of Nicea nixed it; it might give us unwashed masses hope that we might all find attainment. What a dangerous idea!
EDIT: The work by Tacitus that mentions Narthos was not his document of the Roman campaigns against the Germanic tribes which I have read in part, but his ethnographic Germania which I have never read. That’s one part of the memory already plausible.