It seems not only has my writing gotten a small but noticeable spike in interest with fans of my previous life’s work, but it’s also attracted the attention of someone I knew in that life.
I should be glad I suppose, and to some measure I am. But I’m also terrified because the fact that I think I might have been Phil isn’t exactly a well-guarded secret, and the fact that my writing isn’t- nor can it ever be- quite the same as I have another 30 years of living as a completely different person behind it now. I have to tread very lightly or I’ll risk immense ridicule. I find that keeping my public persona divorced from my past life claims was a very good decision but I worry that it won’t be enough.
Nonetheless, I take some solace in knowing I can still write things that my previous life’s fans enjoy. Even if they don’t know it’s me, if I can make them happy then I’ve done what I set out to do.
I’m entering new and uncharted territory here. There is nothing in my experience- in past lives or in my current one- to prepare me for the extreme positive and negative possibilities that present themselves.
At least I’ve still got the I Ching. That hasn’t changed, nor will it change in another thousand years I imagine. I do my readings with three silver half-dollars from the 40s and 50s (two “Walking Liberty” type and one “Ben Franklin” type) and it seems to bring me some direction and stability through that link to an earlier time, even if I’m just tapping into the answers I already knew and engaging in superstitious sympathetic magic.
I’m due for another reading on my current condition tonight, I think.