It’s time I opened up about something that’s been bothering me for some time now.
As I might have mentioned, I made the decision go vegetarian a few months back. And yes, part of that certainly was a consideration for the prospect of Karma and for the suffering of living creatures. Also, I have valid concerns about antibiotic-resistant bacteria in the meat supply that I think everyone should take note of, regardless of your belief in reincarnation.
But there was more to it than that. A large part of it simply comes from the profoundly mixed feelings I get about meat now owing to the memories I have from the Western front. When a human body is dismembered to a certain extent, it just becomes scraps of meat and it becomes indistinguishable from the bully beef you’re eating. Also, human flesh when it burns often smells eerily like a pork roast, and one’s initial reaction is to salivate, then recoil with horror when you realize what that smell actually is. I often find now that I get an initial hunger reaction from the smell or sight of meat, followed by a strong disgust reaction.
Moreover, recently as I was considering re-evaluating my status as a vegetarian, I had a really horrendous memory.
I was with my company, somewhere in Flanders. We had been briefly separated from our company and were taken in by a local Flemish family at their small farmhouse. They served us a stew with bits of meat in it. I ate some, as did a number of the others with us, but one or two of the men refused, saying it was probably human flesh because no one could get meat with the war going on.
My stomach turns and my eyes burn with tears just writing about this. It took a hundred years and two lifetimes to finally bring this out into the open. And I could have been forgiven for holding onto it… so many of the survivors certainly did. I feel like it’s weighing me down to keep hiding this though.
I don’t know if this is a real memory or verifiable in any way, but something about it resonates with a sickening feel of plausibility. Whatever the case, I’m probably not going back to eating meat any time soon.