Letting go of thinking I was Phil seems to have removed some of the occlusion that had kept me from seeing a wider truth.
In a dream within a dream last night, I had glimpsed, ever so briefly, the actions of two gods. One, similar to Palmer Eldritch in many ways, holds sway here and is perhaps not so much entirely evil as indifferent, childlike, mischievous, and capricious; powerful, but not worthy of allegiance.
But interceding, across the events of the Bible and history in such a thick and fast string of successions that I couldn’t zero in on any one event was a thing that breached into our world like the back of an enormous whale just barely breaching the surface of the water, a being of indescribable color and light that changed the course of history here and there and intervened on behalf of all sentient beings. It had little power here but in the pleroma it was huge. Our world is just a thin surface sheet that reflects the ego of a demiurge and it disrupted that surface sheet even as the reflection continued on its back, the way the sun shimmers on a whale.
It was tantalizing. It was a fragment of something that I knew but had not seen before. And now I want more… I want to see where it has intervened, what its intentions are, and what it has in mind for me.