Sometimes, the only way to really understand something is to re-experience it.

I had speculated for a number of years that my sudden recollection of past lives in September 2012 was somehow related to an experiment with psilocybe azurescens mushrooms earlier that year (about July).

Just today, the opportunity presented itself to repeat that experience.  However, I had to use the slightly less powerful cubensis variety of psilocybe mushroom this time.  Having consumed an eighth ounce of these at about 7:50 this evening, I am still experiencing quite a profound effect from them and I now am quite sure that these are not what caused my recollection of past lives.

In fact, what I feel is something far more transcendent; certainly, my past lives stand as a matter of fact before me but they feel so insignificant.  Instead what I find is that I sit at the base of the mountain, attainment.  I am not enlightened, but I am loved by many enlightened beings and with their love, I can attain it in this lifetime.

And in the face of that, these long years of yearning for lost connections with people and places that are either long gone or far away, it seems so insignificant now.  Lord Shiva dances, turning stars into dust, dust into stars, so much dancing that even he tires, so much dancing that even when he is not dancing, he is still dancing.  And he smiles, and I smile with him.  Past lives are so much stardust to me in this blessed moment.

I can’t blame the mushrooms.  I feel almost as if I have slighted them for even thinking for a moment they were the cause.


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