Perhaps it’s simply too painful for me to think about these as past lives any more.
Perhaps that’s why I’d rather think this was the memory of some spirit other than my own.
Truth be told, though, of late I’ve been repressing thoughts of past lives. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it. I’ve especially been keeping my thoughts about the war to a minimum.
I think right now though, the most painful thing for me is that in the last 250 years I have only known two countries as my home, and now I feel I hardly know either of them. The rise of the right wing in the US and UK has turned the countries I thought I knew into a parody of their former selves. Hypocritical attitudes toward the sacrifices of those who made our two countries are reaching nauseating pitch. Modern ideology masquerading as tradition invades and corrupts minds at the highest levels of power. The poor and the underprivileged are swept aside to line the pockets of rich bigots. The dominoes have all fallen, and my two homelands have fallen into a new dark age.
And yet, these dominoes were set up centuries ago. They were set up during events I took part in. Things I made and did contributed to these problems.
I’d rather not believe in past lives. I’d rather not believe just how much of the world I now live in was something I helped make.
I’m going to take a hiatus from updating here for a while.