Tomorrow I’ll be getting married for the first and hopefully last time in this life.
But for the first time in many lifetimes, I’ll be going in as a wife rather than a husband, and this time it seems different. Better. More sure.
My fiance and I have lived together for 8 years, something you couldn’t do as an unmarried couple in previous years because it would have caused a scandal. To me it makes the most sense of any relationship model; before you sign up for a long-term contract, get to know each other as well as you can and ask yourself honestly if this is a person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
What I discovered is that after the first five years or so- the point at which the majority of relationships have ended- there’s no triumphant epiphany, no choirs of angels, no great explosion of joy. There’s only the simple realization that your life is better than it was before you met your partner.
In the time we’ve been together we’ve experienced poverty, illness, the Great Recession, my gender transition, political upheavals, and my past life angst. He’s put up with so much and he’s never failed to be a compassionate, thoughtful, and loving person in spite of everything.
Here’s to my husband, my love, and the lifetime I will promise him tomorrow.