Probably going to abandon this blog in the near future, if this isn’t my last post.
I was never comfortable with the idea of reincarnation to begin with; I recognized how problematic it would be before I ever had the thought I might have lived before. I find now that I am so uncomfortable with the idea of having to return to this world of suffering after I die that I can’t bear thinking of living another life.
I’d rather go back to believing that our lives are mercifully short and death is a one-way door to oblivion. In lieu of an absurd belief in heaven as described in most Abrahamic traditions (which I haven’t sincerely believed in since I was in my teens), oblivion the most desirable outcome. This is not an epiphany but something I have always known.
I’ve stopped writing fiction, by the way. I can’t bring myself to tell amusing little stories when the world stopped being amusing ages ago. Likewise I’m probably going to use my upcoming job as a trucker to quietly bow out of the church and stop all this gnostic nonsense.
Unless I have some real epiphany, I’m done here. Waiting to be killed by a despotic government or by roving gangs of fascist thugs seems to be the only thing left to do in my life so I might as well embrace a belief system that is positive toward death as a release from suffering.
